Garden : Floral Arrangements for the Engagement

The Goal : Green & White

Our first task was preparing for the engagement day. My mother is every bit a perfectionist and control freak, so I tried to go for a simple color scheme which would minimize the possibility of unmatched things - a big disaster in mom's book.

I already had a gorgeous chartreuse kebaya in the making, so I went with a green & white scheme. Since the engagement was a small affair, I tried to DIY a lot of stuff too - also to minimize any drama caused by unruly vendors.

The Glitch

DIY is haaaaard, y'all!!! It's a lot of detailed work, not ideal when you have a busy working schedule. It would've been great if I had Santa's elf crew, or bridesmaids, or a hybrid of both, but I didn't. My girls were super busy career gals who could care less about weddings, for them to be able to attend it was enough support in itself. I kinda understand since I used to be like that myself a short while ago - you know, right about before a guy asked me to marry him. I know now why it's called Do It Yourself.

I set out to make pretty tissue paper flowers, but it was too much work than I can handle. I'm no crafty gal. So fresh flowers it is then! I intended to use local or cheaper flowers rather than the imported ones, so off we went to Pasar Rawa Belong, a local market specializing in fresh flowers.

The Greeneries

After walking through the market, rebuffing each stall owner's offers of imported roses and other expensive varieties, I finally decided on the flowers I wanted. To cut down on costs, I made a special arrangement with the florists : I set a ceiling budget for the flowers, the florists will then bring the flowers I chose on the morning of the event, I will determine which location points to be decorated and provide all kinds of available vases/glasses/jars/containers for them to put it in. Voila! 

My biggest splurge was the Casablanca Lilies. These are my favorite flowers of all time, but since they were rather expensive I only bought several stems just enough for one big centerpiece.

Casablanca Lilies, from Pinterest

I love Hydrangeas, they're fairly cheap and make an instant statement by themselves. And they naturally come in green!

Hydrangeas, via Pinterest

Green Button Mums (or Kermit Mums or Yoko Ono) are the cutest things! They're pretty versatile and hardy, and you can come up with all sorts of arrangements. 

Green Button Mums, via Pinterest

Mom loves Tuberoses, and the smell really provides some warmth to a room. Thankfully this is a local flower in Indonesia, and is very often used in traditional ceremonies as well. 

Tuberose, from Pinterest

I rounded things up with some baby's breath, and assorted button mums for a little hint of color. 

Baby's breath, image from Style Me Pretty

I arranged these last minute to cover up the grimy bannister

Good to Know

Here are some really pretty flowers you can use if you're thinking of a green color scheme. I found this inspiration board from The Flower Muse. Oh how I wish I'd found it way back when I was actually planning my engagement.

Getting Acquainted : Meet the Parents

The Goal : Let's All Get Along

After he proposed, I wanted him to ask my parents for permission. I've always been much of a daddy's girl, and although I knew my dad would approve of this guy, I'm sure he would still prefer them going through the "man-to-man" talk. You know, maybe something like this really cool proposal :



And so they did. And it was hilarious.
Grumpy ol' dad was getting the jitters himself, and ended up cracking all kinds of jokes. Most of these "jokes" were along the lines of :

Look son, I really like you and I think you're a good man. But if you ever hurt my baby girl I swear I will hunt you down and make you beg for me to kill you. 

To which my brother chimed in :

That makes two of us

Awww boys, I love you guys and all but let's cut back on the testosterone in that room. Thank you.

The Glitch

Our parents have never met each other. The first time I met his parents was around 2-3 weeks before he proposed! So if we were going to get married, this is time for an introduction season. Somehow, this brings to mind all kind of worst case scenarios reminiscent of Meet the Fockers.

Hoping real hard nothing like this happens.

Or this.

Getting Along Real Fine

The funniest thing happened. It turned out we were practically related!!!

His paternal grandfather (his dad's dad) were the nephew of my father's paternal grandmother (my dad's dad's mom - confused yet?). When his grandfather's family first came to the capital, they bunked at my grandfather's house. So practically there was a point where his grandfather and mine lived in the same home. 

Needless to say, practically no tension happened. The wedding is a go!

wheeeee......!

Green, Grey, Gold : Choosing a Color Pallette

The Goal : Green

...there wasn't really any goal. Teeheehee....

Basically I liked the color green - or chartreuse, to be exact - and it was in tune with the whole garden wedding I envisioned. So this was the color pallette that became my initial inspiration : 

Off-base neutrals with a slight kick of color

This may also be influenced by some of my go-to wedding sites : Green Wedding Shoes and Grey Likes Weddings. The website titles kinda give it off huh?

Things were basically on track during preparations for my engagement day. I found a chartreuse lace fabric for the engagement kebaya, coordinating tulle fabric for the DIY decorations, and a lot of green/chartreuse colored printables. 

I originally fell in love with this lace fabric. Alas, out of the price range!

The Glitch

The thing was...since I already chose the perfect color for my engagement kebaya, it was soooo hard to find something better for my wedding reception. Oh bridezilla brain, why'd you have to think in such a complicated way? 

After months of searching, I finally fell in love again. Problem? It was nowhere near my previous pallette of subtle greens and greys.

I'm a sucker for glitter and glam.

What the fabric was, in a nutshell, nothing more than some beads and faux rhinestones sewed onto a pale golden tulle. But boy, did it look amazing! Before, I had some hesitations that the reception venue's grandeur would far outshine the bridal party's costume. That would not be the case with this fabric in tow - even with the simplest silhouettes my dress would still scream "glam". 

With all that embellishment, and taking the venue into consideration, I thought why not go art deco? And so, I added some new colors to complement the previous pallette.

(Dusty) Green, (Muted) Grey, (Antique) Gold

Good to Know : Color Pallette Inspirations

If you are like me and clueless about color combinations, there are a lot of amazing sources for inspiration. All the pallettes included in this post are taken from Design Seeds. 

Garments : Kebaya Akad Nikah

The Goal : Grace

For brides, it's all about the dress. We all want to look and feel like the princess-du-jour on our special day, even for non-typical brides like me. I always preferred simple and classic looks compared to overtly ornamental ones like a lot of the wedding Kebayas people wear nowadays, which I guess is why this image seems like the perfect inspiration :

Grace Kelly - the epitome of elegance. Pic taken from Wikipedia.

I knew I would be wearing a kebaya which is the Indonesian national dress, paired with a traditional kain or fabric as the bottom. Indonesia is rich with traditional fabrics from many regions, and it is customary to wear your wedding kebaya with a traditional fabric from your original Indonesian tribe. I am of mixed descendants, half Javanese and half Minang (Western Sumatra) and both these cultures have very different traditional dress styles. For the wedding vow, we chose to use Javanese tradition which tends to be more subdued & solemn.

Of all the kebaya makers, I fell in love with one particular model I saw on the runway. It turns out my mom fell in love with the same kebaya. So we found out who the designer was and paid a visit to her workshop.

L : Yasra's kebaya on the runway. R : the exact same kebaya on me.

The designer's name is Yasra, located at Jl. Danau Tondano in Bendungan Hilir/Pejompongan area. I can tell our sense of aesthetics are a good match, since most of the kebayas I fell in love with turned out to be her designs. The ready made designs in her boutiques are all to die for. To. Die. For. There was only one small problem - the price tag. If I only had to make one kebaya, I would undoubtedly entrust my wedding kebaya to her. Unfortunately, I had to make 3 : one for the engagement, one for the wedding vow, and one for the wedding reception. So, bye bye Tante Yasra.

Out of the blue, my mom bought some cord lace intended for my wedding kebaya. It would not be my first choice, since I was more into delicate patterns and fabrics such as chantilly/french lace, but I gave in since I thought buying another fabric would have been such a waste.

The fabric mom bought. It's got potential.

I plan to turn the above fabric into this kutubaru kebaya

In line with the wedding vow's simple & sacred nature, I wanted a similar feel for my kebaya. Since the style I chose was pretty basic (for traditional kebaya) and only minimal beadwork was required, I decided on one of the tailors where we usually make our regular kebayas.

The Glitch

You know what people say about going with your gut on wedding vendors? DO IT!

On my 1st fitting, the kebaya's bustier fitted beautifully, but the kebaya itself hadn't been constructed. On the 2nd fitting, however, I should have known that something was wrong. My kebaya was assymetrical : one end of the neckline was slightly higher than the other one. The patterns on the right and left sleeves didn't match. In short, it looked tacky and poorly made.

I asked the tailor to repair the kebaya, and 2 months before the wedding he came back. There were no changes on the kebaya, it was still as messy and poorly made as it was before. *insert any rampaging bridezilla scene you have in mind*

No other dressmakers/tailors/designers were willing to take on this Herculean task on making a wedding kebaya less than 2 months before the big day. Especially since we were on a very tight budget. I tried to look at the kebayas available for rental, but most of them were too extravagant for my taste, and were still way over my budget.

The Great Miracle

My cousin introduced me to her friend, who was starting a design career. He designed my cousin's kebaya for another cousin's wedding and it was gorgeous, so I started stalking his instagram. We met up over coffee, talked about our sense of aesthetics, and we clicked.
So with my half mutilated kebaya on one hand and my hopes in the other, I bluntly said to him :

I need 2 kebayas in 1,5 months, and my maximum budget for both kebayas is this much. Do you think it's doable?

He just smiled and nodded. I didn't dare dream too much, but the end result was very pretty, even prettier than I dared hope.

I love the wing shaped back details

A little back story : it turned out that I could have had Tante Yasra make my wedding kebaya, if only I had been a little more persistent in my negotiations. A friend of mine had her wedding kebaya made by Tante Yasra, she stated her budget beforehand and Tante Yasra adjusted the amount of beadwork to that budget. The result was just as amazing! It was still slightly out of my budget, though.

Geography : Choosing a Venue

The Goal : Gardens

I wanted to have a simple and intimate wedding, attended only by our nearest and dearest. I imagined it would take place on a breezy afternoon in a semi outdoor restaurant. The ambience would be warm and cozy. A lot of my inspiration was derived from weddings featured in WeddingChicks, I guess this one in particular really embodied what I wanted my wedding to be like.

This beauteous backyard wedding was featured in Wedding Chicks here

The Glitch

A wedding in Indonesia is seldom centered around the bride & groom. Instead, it is considered a huge social event and is usually the parents' domain (especially parents of the bride). A guest list of 300 pax is considered to be small , which means I better adjust my expectations real quick. In the end, we had a total guest list of 350 invitations (700 pax), which by Indonesian standard still isn't considered to be a big wedding. All I could think of was how many hours I would have to stand shaking each and every one of those 700 hands! Mother have mercy.

We also had to take into account several things :

1. My wedding is in November, during the heavy rain season (September-March) in Indonesia, thus any hope of booking an outdoor venue is promptly discarded. 
2. Due to Javanese Weton (previously explained here), our wedding vows are not suggested to take place on a Saturday or a Sunday. We finally chose a Friday afternoon, so guests can come join the festivities after office hours. 
3. Alas, the parents does not approve of a Friday wedding reception! So Saturday reception it is, then. 
4. Since we now have 2 events, booking the same venue for both dates was way too expensive. 

In the end, we booked 2 different venues. 

The Wedding Vow Venue

I wanted the wedding vows to be as simple and hassle free as possible, so I chose a mosque for the venue. As it is a holy place, there are restrictions on how much people was allowed, how much decoration was allowed, and how we were allowed to dress.
In my case, it was the perfect excuse to limit any possible creative scenarios my mom would be planning. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom and her party planning ideas, but I think one dramatic event is all that I can handle for my own wedding. Besides, the mosque itself was already very pretty with its' colorful ceiling ornaments and calligraphy chandeliers.

The Reception Venue

For the reception, we had a really hard time finding a venue. All the indoor wedding halls were fully booked and we had to wait at wit's end for someone to cancel their booking. Thankfully, the first one that became available was perfect. It had the perfect location, great access, huge parking, great staff and a slightly reasonable price. 

Better yet, it had somewhat of an Art Deco feel to it (or at least, I think it's art deco). 

From above left : the signage - the lobby - the ceilings!!!

How can I not fall in love? Sure, it meant that all my "cozy intimate wedding" ideas had to be scrapped, but I was starting to be excited at the prospect of having a flapperesque era style wedding.

Gridlock : Setting a Date

The Goal : Grandparents' Legacy

I had set my eyes on the perfect wedding date : April 6th 2013

1. My maternal grandparents were married on April 6th, 1954. They were an example of couples who remained romantically in love with each other until the day one passed away. 
2. My parents were engaged on April 6th, 1972.
3. April 6th, 2013 was a Saturday, perfect for a wedding. 

Left to Right : 1955 - circa 1960 - 2010

The Glitch

It was too good to be true. The extended family was too excited about the wedding that they didn't want to wait too long and so insisted it be held in 2012. It was already May by that time, so there was no way I could get married on April 6th 2012. 

June was a no-go, too little time to prepare things, and we wanted to hold a formal engagement first.

July and August was the Ramadhan month. 

In September my cousing was getting married, and we didn't want to steal their spotlight.

My mother was busy with huge projects on October and December.

So in the end, the only available month was November....

However, the month of Muharram started on mid-November, which means that we had get married before that. Thus, there were only 4 available dates left : November 3,4,10,11. 

Half the people in Jakarta was giddy to get married on November 10th since the dates aligned perfectly to form 10-11-12. I couldn't care less and decided to avoid that date so I can get a better chance of booking a venue (most wedding venues are already booked 1 year prior to the event).

In the end we decided on November 3rd for the wedding, since it was the only date with an available venue. A couple suddenly canceled their booking which gave a chance for underprepared brides - such as moi - to grab a venue. Our religious wedding vows took place on November 2nd. It was held on a Friday since based on Javanese numerology I was not advised to wed on a Saturday or a Sunday.

Good to Know : Things to Consider When Choosing a Wedding Date (in Indonesia)

1. Most Indonesians tend to go for what they call "tanggal cantik" or pretty dates. These are dates that seldom have any particular meaning, but just happens to be repetitive or aligned, resulting in a cute date stamp on the invitation. Think 10-11-12 (November 10th 2012), or 12-12-12 (December 12th 2012). Booking a venue on these dates are close to impossible.
2. If you're moslem, or marrying someone who is, pay attention to the holy months. It is customary not to get married during the months of Ramadhan & Muharram. That is why it is considered high season for Indonesian moslem weddings in the month prior and after to those holy months, which means less chance of getting a venue.
3. The months of September to December are high season for Indonesian chinese weddings. Unless you are looking for venues a year in advance, there's little chance you'll be able to book most of the favorite venues. Even the less desired ones are full.
4. If you're of Javanese heritage, or marrying someone who is, be prepared for elders who insist on ensuring numerological harmony for your wedding dates. In Javanese culture, each person has their own Weton, which is their birth day based on Javanese calendar. This Weton is considered a sacred day for the person, and believed to impact all aspects of their life such as career, romance, etc. In my case, my grandfather was the one insistent on this. 

Thankfully this part of the wedding planning was quickly over with, which meant we can move on to the other things.

Make your own free printable Art Deco style Save-the-Date on Wedding Chick

Galantry : The Proposal

All this wedding frenzy started on a leap day which literally made my heart leap. It was February 29th 2012, and this guy kept on insisting for a meet up.

We were never officially a couple, since we'd been friends at work for 4 years. We usually went for lunch with a bunch of friends, and we never really hung out together until 2010. Even then, I didn't really hang out with him. It was situational as the office was doing a big move and we were the ones impacted by it. Also, since I was always "one of the guys", eventually we started to cross paths a little more often.

So things took off from there, we went from colleagues to friends and later as confidantes to each other. It was rather funny since I used to watch a lot of The Office, and our dynamics were a lot like Jim and Pam's.

Back to February 29th 2012, he kept insisting to meet up. At the time, I'd just resigned from the office where we worked together in the suburbs, and moved back to Jakarta. After resigning we usually only meet during weekends, but today he said there was something important. I'd already had something scheduled with a friend and wouldn't be available until late, and he still insisted on picking me up afterwards.

There we were, late on a wednesday night, sitting on my living room couch. I forgot what we were talking about when he suddenly said

Let's get married.

To which I came up with the wittiest reply

Are you serious?

Of all the possible proposal scenarios in the world, this one never came to mind.
I accepted anyway ;)

Picture taken from this post - click to see one of the cutest wedding proposals ever