Gridlock : Setting a Date

The Goal : Grandparents' Legacy

I had set my eyes on the perfect wedding date : April 6th 2013

1. My maternal grandparents were married on April 6th, 1954. They were an example of couples who remained romantically in love with each other until the day one passed away. 
2. My parents were engaged on April 6th, 1972.
3. April 6th, 2013 was a Saturday, perfect for a wedding. 

Left to Right : 1955 - circa 1960 - 2010

The Glitch

It was too good to be true. The extended family was too excited about the wedding that they didn't want to wait too long and so insisted it be held in 2012. It was already May by that time, so there was no way I could get married on April 6th 2012. 

June was a no-go, too little time to prepare things, and we wanted to hold a formal engagement first.

July and August was the Ramadhan month. 

In September my cousing was getting married, and we didn't want to steal their spotlight.

My mother was busy with huge projects on October and December.

So in the end, the only available month was November....

However, the month of Muharram started on mid-November, which means that we had get married before that. Thus, there were only 4 available dates left : November 3,4,10,11. 

Half the people in Jakarta was giddy to get married on November 10th since the dates aligned perfectly to form 10-11-12. I couldn't care less and decided to avoid that date so I can get a better chance of booking a venue (most wedding venues are already booked 1 year prior to the event).

In the end we decided on November 3rd for the wedding, since it was the only date with an available venue. A couple suddenly canceled their booking which gave a chance for underprepared brides - such as moi - to grab a venue. Our religious wedding vows took place on November 2nd. It was held on a Friday since based on Javanese numerology I was not advised to wed on a Saturday or a Sunday.

Good to Know : Things to Consider When Choosing a Wedding Date (in Indonesia)

1. Most Indonesians tend to go for what they call "tanggal cantik" or pretty dates. These are dates that seldom have any particular meaning, but just happens to be repetitive or aligned, resulting in a cute date stamp on the invitation. Think 10-11-12 (November 10th 2012), or 12-12-12 (December 12th 2012). Booking a venue on these dates are close to impossible.
2. If you're moslem, or marrying someone who is, pay attention to the holy months. It is customary not to get married during the months of Ramadhan & Muharram. That is why it is considered high season for Indonesian moslem weddings in the month prior and after to those holy months, which means less chance of getting a venue.
3. The months of September to December are high season for Indonesian chinese weddings. Unless you are looking for venues a year in advance, there's little chance you'll be able to book most of the favorite venues. Even the less desired ones are full.
4. If you're of Javanese heritage, or marrying someone who is, be prepared for elders who insist on ensuring numerological harmony for your wedding dates. In Javanese culture, each person has their own Weton, which is their birth day based on Javanese calendar. This Weton is considered a sacred day for the person, and believed to impact all aspects of their life such as career, romance, etc. In my case, my grandfather was the one insistent on this. 

Thankfully this part of the wedding planning was quickly over with, which meant we can move on to the other things.

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